dbol

"The most useless superpower" is a common enough topic, but I think I have the winner.  I'm confident that I truly possess the world's most hideously useless superpower.  Here's the phone conversation that brought it to light:

Me [pontificating groundlessly about basketball]:  "...I mean, there's a huge drop-off in talent after the first dozen or so women's teams--how could you even have a women's NIT?  I imagine there's already an insurmountable difference between the top four teams and anyone after school 40 or so.  Another tournament in addition to the NCAAs is overkill.  Just how many 6'4" girls can there be playing basketball?  Only enough for the top teams I'll bet."

Her [justifiably nonplussed and possibly trying to expose my ignorance of the topic]:  "Who are the top women's teams?"

Me:  "Uh, Tennessee, UConn, Duke, LSU...I think Maryland just won the tournament recently..."

Her [doing a quick search]:  "So tell me, how tall do you think the tallest player is on LSU?"

Me:  "Well, they're a pretty good team, probably recruit well...I'd say 6'6"."

Her:  "Oh, you must have already known that."

Me:  "Wait--I was right!?"

Her:  "Yeah...well, what do you think is the shortest?"

Me:  "Hmm...even though they're good, it doesn't mean they don't have shorties--I'm going with 5'3"."

Her:  "Okay, you're sitting in front of your computer reading that.  I might be naive but--"

Me:  "No, seriously, I'm in the Lego room, here listen" [I hold the phone up next to a container of Lego and move my hand around in it, making the unmistakable sound of--well--a hand moving through Lego]  "I swear, I'm nowhere near a computer right now."

So yeah, that's right--I can accurately predict the value of the tallest and shortest players on women's college basketball teams.  I'd seriously like to see someone top that one as a useless superpower.

(By the way, I really WASN'T doing anything other than pull numbers out of my ass.)